Aftertaste of Ashes
by LilyMoon'sAlias
Summary: A sequel to Hazard Pay. RenoCloud, RudeVincent. Reno and Cloud struggle with the intimacies and intricacies of a relationship. The past won't stay in the past and the future is always influenced by it. Characters owned by SquareEnix.
1. Chapter 1

"Oy! Two more over here!" Reno yelled and banged his empty beer bottle on the scarred table top.

Rude adjusted his shades and silently thanked the gods that they were in some dark and dingy dive instead of Seventh Heaven. Tifa would have removed Reno's head from his body by now over his behavior. Rude absolutely hated being Reno's guardian when he got in slumps like this. Watching your best friend self destruct and not being able to do anything except keep him from getting into too much trouble left a distinctly bad taste in his mouth.

A few patrons, if one could use such a clean term for the dregs of society lingering over cheap whiskey, scowled in Reno's direction as he got louder and more boisterous with each drink. It was probably only Rude's presence and Reno's own fierce reputation that kept anyone from approaching them. Well, that and the small smears of obvious blood and gray matter they hadn't cleaned from their Turk uniforms.

"I can't fucking believe Ru...the boss, man!" Reno guzzled half his drink. "On top of all the shit that went down today, you know what he asked me?!"

"What?" Rude sighed and supplied the expected response.

"He wants me to try again to convince Cloud to join Shinra." Reno spat an errant piece of tobacco from his cigarette on the floor in disgust. "Just because he's my lover doesn't mean he wouldn't try to run me through with that big assed sword if I even bring up the subject."

Rude took a sip of his own beer and managed to not wince at the flavor. Used to these mostly one-sided conversations with his partner, Reno waved his hands wildly and continued.

"I mean, he's still some pissed about that affair with those psycho kids a coupla months ago. Anytime someone mentions it he goes all stiff and cold." Reno picked at the label on his bottle. "Then he suddenly takes off on some 'delivery' that means he'll be gone three or four days."

Rude set his beer aside. There was no way he was going to keep trying to force that crap down if he didn't have to. He watched his partner savage the innocent paper ring.

"So, I take it he's off again."

"Yeah," Reno mumbled. "Left yesterday morning after some idiot the night before asked him how it felt to go from saving the world to taking down a buncha kids." Reno slouched even lower in his chair. "You shoulda seen his face, partner. It looked like someone cut his heart out."

Rude sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Reno, it's Cloud you're talking about here. You know he's prone to getting moody and taking responsibility too much to heart."

"Thought I had worked some of that outta his system. Man, how do you put up with Vincent when he gets like that?"

As soon as the words left his mouth Reno knew he had overstepped his bounds with Rude. Both his partner and Vincent were exceedingly private about their relationship. Reno had come to understand that it was their personal sanctuary against everything and something they guarded fiercely.

"S-sorry, partner," Reno stuttered. "I didn't mean to pry. You know me, my mouth sometimes runs off before my brain's in gear." He set the bottle carefully on the table. "Maybe it's time to go home."

Rude merely inclined his head in acknowledgement and put some gil on the table. Reno rose on steady legs considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed and followed his partner to the car. The ride to Reno's apartment was silent, but as soon as he parked the car Rude turned to Reno and let his sunglasses slide down his nose so his eyes could be seen.

"Just be yourself and be there for him, Reno. Push some but not too much. We know what Hojo did to Cloud and Vincent. It was in those damned records, but we'll never know all of it. We'll never truly understand what years of torture and mental abuse have done. You can't shield him from the world, either. He's not a child to be protected and I don't think he would appreciate it anyway. That's the best advice I can give you."

Reno nodded in solemn appreciation of what was, essentially, an uncharacteristically wordy speech from Rude and hurried inside. Winter still had them in a choke hold and he really despised being cold. It didn't help any that his apartment was dark and empty, no gorgeous blond to pounce and coax into a smile. Reno shrugged his suit jacket off and padded to the bathroom. No tub soak this time. He needed the shower to scrub away the results of his job. Grimacing in distaste, Reno flicked something clingy and disgustingly squishy into the toilet. His once white shirt was a total loss. Blood and gore had soaked through the material to leave rusty stains on his skin. It was a good thing the Turks had one hell of an expense account for uniforms.

Once the shower water was satisfactorily hot, Reno settled under the punishing stream with a sigh of relief. Muscles that he hadn't known were knotted slowly relaxed in the heat. His fingers grazed over various bottles of shower gels and shampoos. Picking one he flipped open the top only to realize by the scent that he had picked up Cloud's. The familiar scent made his cock harden even as a slow burning churned his gut. Reno groaned and thumped his head against the tile. He tried to push his concern for his lover to the back of his mind and lathered his hair. The silky suds streamed through his long locks and cascaded down his body like the whisper soft touch of Cloud's fingers on his skin.

Reno moaned in memory, the sound reverberating in the enclosure, and gripped his length. He tried to mimic Cloud's touch, that touch that was so very conscious of its own strength and so carefully restrained. The fingers of his other hand sifted through his wet hair the way Cloud did when he was trying to gain Reno's attention. After a few minutes of stroking himself, Reno tightened the tunnel of his fingers and closed his eyes to better imagine the feel of Cloud's body rippling around him and surrounding him with clenching warmth.

He thrust fast and hard, his hips driving himself into his clenched fist, his right hand scrabbling for purchase on the slick walls. Behind his closed lids Reno could see the pale perfection of Cloud's skin become dewy with sweat, his back arching to bring his Turk lover that much deeper into his body. Reno could almost feel the way Cloud's body trembled on the brink of release, his hands clutching at Reno with a shivering need and a terrible restraint.

Reno came with a hoarse yell and wrapped his own arms around his heaving chest because there was no else to hold him in the aftershock of pleasure. When the shakes subsided, he swiped the shower water from his eyes and washed away all evidence of both his violent job and his climax. Viscous white and watery red sluiced away and swirled down the drain together. A quick twist of his wrist shut off the water and he stepped into the chill of the room.

Soft, snow reflected moonlight illuminated his bedroom and made the sheets look stark and cold instead of inviting. He was tired, gods was he tired, but sleep wasn't going to come easy. Even the slight buzz from the alcohol and the drowsiness from climax were fading to leave him jumpy and irritable. Worry for Cloud's state of mind and irritation that he was even worried left Reno's nerves jangled. He grunted in annoyance and pulled on some well worn sleeping pants to settle on the couch in the darkened living room with a battered blanket and his remote. Reno resigned himself to another sleepless night with only trite and over exuberant infomercials that did nothing for him as company.

Rude entered his home to find Vincent, minus his cowled cloak, staring out the balcony doors at the falling snow. He knew the other man had registered his presence so he didn't bother to announce himself. He was also sure Vincent's enhanced senses would know that the blood on him was not his own. It was one of the more comforting aspects of being with Vincent, never having to explain himself if it wasn't necessary.

Vincent turned to watch Rude peel off his soiled gloves and toss them into a bin of similar items that needed to go to the leather cleaners, reddish eyes flicking over his lover's body just to confirm what his nose had already told him. Rude waved a subtle motion at Vincent to follow him as he started divesting himself of his work clothes and headed for the shower. His shades were the last thing to be removed and carefully set on the vanity top while he adjusted the water.

Rude noticed Vincent had leaned comfortably against the wall and was waiting patiently. He stepped into the shower and raised his voice slightly to be heard even if it wasn't needed. Vincent could have heard him if he had whispered.

"Reno was in a snit. We stopped for a few drinks after work." Rude heard the soft creak of leather as Vincent crossed his arms.

"Cloud's away again?"

"Yes," Rude answered and quickly washed himself. "It seems that someone brought up the cult fiasco, and he took off."

Rude finished his shower as Vincent silently mulled over his words. He had toweled off and buffed his bald head before Vincent spoke again.

"He'll be back."

"Soon?" Rude checked in the mirror to see if he needed to tidy his goatee. "It's already affecting Reno. I thought he was just going to slaughter everyone today in a rage before we even got the information Tseng wanted. Rufus may be pleased about the relationship, but Tseng won't take it well if it interferes with the job."

Vincent's eyes flashed dangerously at the implication that Rufus would even think to use his friend's tenuous affection as a hold of some kind. He felt that Reno's motives were true, but it obviously couldn't be said for others. Cloud had been used and abused enough in his short life. Vincent wouldn't stand idly by and allow it to happen again.

"Cloud is not a tool," Vincent said in an ominously deep rumble.

Rude allowed himself to sigh and rubbed his fingertips over the tension behind his eyes before reaching for his shades. Almost conflicting loyalties tugged at him. Shinra owned him body and soul, would always own him, but he had given something deeper to Vincent and Reno and, by extension, Cloud. Vincent seemed to sense his struggle and used his flesh hand to trace a line between the muscles of Rude's chest. His skin warmed and twitched at the contact.

"You need to rest," Vincent murmured.

"You're not staying?" Rude asked although the answer was already apparent.

Vincent shook his head in a way that made his spill of black hair brush Rude's skin. The fleeting touch made Rude even more sorry that Vincent wouldn't be staying. A few hours of pleasurable oblivion would help set his mind at ease.

I need to go out." Vincent let Rude draw him forward for a quick embrace. "I just need to see what's on the wind."

A brief press of lips against his mouth, and Vincent was gone, leaving Rude to go to bed alone. He made sure his alarm was set and lay down to fold his arms under his head. He wondered briefly if Reno would sleep at all, but decided it was unlikely. His partner wouldn't sleep, nor would he admit that the fact he was in love with Cloud was what made him so tense. Rude grunted and punched his pillow into softness. He needed to sleep. He would have to be doubly on guard for a while to make sure Reno didn't inadvertently do something that could cost both of them their jobs or their lives. 


	2. Chapter 2

Warm lips traveled down his throat and a lock of hair tickled his skin. He was very ticklish and tried to squirm away from it at the same time he arched into the roaming mouth. A needy groan rumbled in his chest and earned him a pleased chuckle.

"You're still so sensitive."

Cloud opened his eyes to find a violet pair gazing down fondly at him.

"Zack..." he breathed.

"Hello, Spike."

Cloud threw his arms around Zack's neck, pulling him down. He trembled and heard gasping cries coming from himself. Zack was solid under his hands. He could even smell the scent of Zack's skin and, and...oh gods, it had been so long, so badly missed, the feeling of warmth and safety and love he always associated with Zack. Cloud couldn't help but cling and a whimper of protest escaped his throat when Zack pulled away to look at him.

"This is just a dream, you know," Zack said, but even in a dream his eyes glowed with love and tenderness. He cupped Cloud's cheek in a large palm. "I shouldn't be doing this, but I needed to talk to you."

"Zack, I miss you so much," Cloud's voice shook with strain. "Zack, I'm...I'm so sorry."

Zack shook his head and put a finger over Cloud's lips to still the pained apology. Cloud felt himself drowning in the love, the strength, the admiration he could see in Zack's face.

"The only thing you need to apologize for is the needless recrimination you put yourself through. This guilt is unnecessary, Cloud. I made a choice, and I would do it over and over again to keep you safe. I wanted you to live, Spike. I wanted you to be happy. You deserved the chance. You still do."

"You should have been the one to survive," Cloud whispered, his lips brushing Zack's fingers with each word.

"No," Zack shook his head and leaned forward to kiss Cloud's temple. "Events happened the way they were supposed to."

Cloud leaned into the touch, his eyes closing as he let himself just bask in the gentle touch. When he opened them Zack had moved away and was watching him with a fond and rueful look on his face. Cloud lifted a hand to bring him back.

"Zack?"

"Not my place to do that anymore, kiddo. You have someone waiting for you, someone else who loves you, and he should be the one you turn to, not me."

"Reno," Cloud said, and an image of tangles of red hair and laughing, teasing eyes swam across his vision. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Don't," Zack interrupted. "I never expected you to be alone forever. I wouldn't ever want that."

"But."

"No. He loves you. You can love him back if you let yourself."

"Loves me?" Cloud shook his head. "He wants me. I know that, but..."

"Loves you, Spike. He may not have said it, yet, but he's in love with you, and you're worrying him." Zack sighed and shook his head in exasperation. "Still so unsure of your own worth, aren't you?"

"I'm not...I'm just...He's..." Cloud faltered. Recent memories of gentle hands soothing him after a particularly bad nightmare, kisses meant for comfort instead of passion, unguarded delight illuminating green eyes whenever a soft smile was teased from him. "He's..."

"In love with you, wants to protect you, and wants to make you happy," Zack finished the sentence with absolute conviction. "All the things you do deserve, Cloud, whether you believe it or not."

"I miss you so much, Zack," Cloud said miserably.

Zack's face softened. "I know you do, but, as much as I wish I could, I can't be with you anymore. I'm breaking a few rules as it is just to talk to you like this."

Cloud couldn't help the small burst of laughter. "You were always breaking rules. I suspect you're no different now, and Aeris is having a lively time keeping you in line."

"You wound me, Spike." Zack feigned a hurt, innocent look and dramatically placed a hand over his heart. "As if I would give that lovely lady any trouble." Zack sobered. "He's worrying, and the love and worry he feels is affecting him. There's coming a time when that distraction is going to place everything in jeopardy."

Guilt and an icy spike of fear seized Cloud's chest. "If it's that bad maybe I should just break it off."

Zack reached over and cuffed the back of his head. "Wrong answer. Gods, you're so stubborn! Love is not a weakness, Spike. The two of you are stronger together. Let go of the damned guilt and you'll see that I'm right." Zack's form was starting to look less sharp and clear. "Time's almost up."

"What do you mean? Zack?" Cloud asked fearfully and stretched his hand towards Zack. A renewed ache of loss streaked through him when it passed right through Zack like a wisp of smoke. "Don't leave me again!"

Cloud felt a whisper of touch against his cheek. "Time to wake up and go home. Give your heart and your trust to Reno, Cloud. You've already started to. If it's my blessing you need, well, you have it, but you don't need anyone's permission to be happy. Cherish it. Fight for it. Don't let anyone take it away from you." Zack was just a faded outline of color now. "Cloud, a madman as egotistical as Hojo wouldn't stop with just cloning his favorite experiment."

"Don't leave me again! Zack! Please, please don't leave me alone again," Cloud begged, throwing any scrap of pride to the wind. He was starting to shake with cold now that Zack's warmth was nearly gone.

"You're not alone, Cloud. Go home. Home is where your lover is waiting for you. You'll see me again, if only to kick your ass for being so stubborn about being afraid to love him."

"Zack!"

"I love you, Cloud. Go home and allow yourself to love and be happy. It's what I want for you."

"Zack!"

"Remember what I told you. Wake up now, Cloud."

Cloud lurched awake with tears wetting his face. His heart pounded and his throat ached as he swallowed a scream of denial. It had felt so real. He raised his hands to cover his face and could faintly smell Zack's scent on them.

He was in a hotel far on the outskirts of Kalm. His delivery had been made and he had been just wasting time in an impersonal room decorated with what looked to be three shades of mud. Cloud huddled under the covers, cold and shivering. He grabbed a pillow to bury his face in, trying to replicate the warmth that he had started to count on for comfort and distraction. The trembling worsened and he breathed the name of the person he wanted to be there to hold him and make him feel safe and warm, wanted the assurance that he was wanted and deserving of the attention.

"Reno," Cloud surprised himself by saying. He had called for Reno and not...Zack.

Cloud flung off the covers and pulled on his clothes with nearly frantic jerks. He needed to get back, needed to get home. It surprised him again that he thought of home as Reno's apartment now and not his room at Seventh Heaven that was rarely used anymore. He wanted to let himself in and find Reno waiting to yell at him for being an inconsiderate ass. He wouldn't stay mad for long. Cloud knew he wouldn't. The redhead never did. He always forgave and took Cloud into his arms to make him feel alive again.

Cloud remembered what Zack had told him about Hojo. What had he known? What was he trying to warn Cloud about? Cloud shook off the questions. First he had to get home. He was over two days away, but if he pushed it he could make it back quicker. He left the keycard on the dresser and carried his bag and sword out to Fenrir. 


	3. Chapter 3

"You look like shit."

Reno snorted, amused, and opened his door wider to let his partner into the apartment. He hadn't managed to snatch more than an hour of disturbed sleep while sitting up on the couch. The dark circles under his eyes were turning into heavy baggage, and even his normally wild hair looked messier than usual. The long tail was tangled and frazzled, haphazardly tied.

"Fuck you very much, Rude," Reno said and flipped him a middle finger.

"Not with that face," Rude replied and allowed a tiny smirk to curve his lips. The he turned serious, allowing his concern to show. "Partner, you can't keep going like this. How long since you last slept? Days?"

Reno shrugged. "Something like that. You know I've done it before. That stakeout job right before Rufus made me into a babysitter." Reno frowned at the reminder of exactly why he wasn't sleeping. "I'm fine. It takes more than a few sleepless nights to bring me down."

"That was different. It was work. We were running on adrenaline, and you weren't thinking of a moody, not too stable, lover at the time."

"Want coffee?" Reno asked in a effort to change the subject.

Rude's expression was pained. "Not that hazardous waste you make that's slowly eating through the pot."

Reno laughed despite himself. "Always knew you were a wuss. That's a real man's coffee, I'll have you know."

"It's near sentient biological sludge that nearly burned a whole through my stomach the last time I took you up on the offer."

"Such a delicate little flower, if the world only knew," Reno sneered playfully and yelped when Rude managed a smack to his head.

"That's Deadly Turk with Refined Taste to you, gutter rat," Rude retorted, relieved that Reno seemed to perk up a little from the banter. "I got coffee, good coffee, waiting in the car."

"Yeah, yeah. Rude the Refined. Let's go to work before my gag reflex kicks in."

Reno gathered his weapons and keys to follow Rude to the car. The smell of the coffee waiting in super sized cups inside the car made him want to close his eyes in bliss. Rude wasn't lying when he said he had great taste, not that Reno would ever say so when it was much more enjoyable to rib the big man about it. The first few sips helped to ease at least some of his fatigue.

Fifteen minutes later found them in Tseng's office. Reno slouched in a chair tapping his baton on his left shoulder, looking very much his normal self. Tseng had sharp eyes, though, and could easily see through the facade. With a glance at Rude who gave a slight negative shake of his head Tseng exchanged one assignment for another, one that wouldn't require too much concentration or delicate handling.

"Your assignment today is to investigate reports of disturbances around the construction site of the new reactor. So far it has been limited to petty vandalism and disruption of shipments, but it's costing time and money the President would rather not have wasted."

Reno's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "That sounds more like a job for the security personnel. What, they just sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and letting it happen?"

"Or someone's working from the inside," Rude stated and flexed his hands in his leather gloves.

The hard glint in Tseng's eyes and the tightening of his face let them know that Rude probably had the answer.

"That, gentlemen, is what you're going to find out."

While the prospect of a bit of violence soothed some of the burning in his gut, Reno thought it was a job that was within the realm of some of the more junior Turks.

"Why do you need us?" Reno asked and gestured at himself and Rude. "Rod and his partner or even Eve and the new kid could handle that. I thought you wanted us to follow up on the information we got yesterday."

Tseng folded his hands on the desk top and stared at Reno evenly.

"It's important that lead is followed straight to the source. You're distracted right now, Reno."

Reno's cheeks flushed in anger. "I still do my job. I'm still a damned good Turk, one of the Aces!" he snapped.

"You are," Tseng agreed evenly. "But yesterday you nearly killed our only viable link because you were more interested in venting than following orders."

"But..." Reno started to defend himself.

"No." Tseng cut him off. "Someone is using mako illegally and injecting animals with it. Human experimentation will most likely be the next step, if not already begun. Because Shinra is the only publicly known entity that still has a stockpile of mako and materia and has a history based on the SOLDIER program, public opinion will be that Shinra is behind it all. That is not something Shinra can afford at this time."

Reno dropped his baton to swing from its strap and gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles whitened. "That's why Rude and I should have the assignment. We're the best you have."

"Not at this time," Tseng replied. He pinned Reno with a glare. "You're letting your personal life interfere with your focus. I can't take the chance of any unstable factors. Follow the orders you're given or I'll be forced to suspend you."

Reno's angry comeback was halted by Rude's large hand clamping on his shoulder in a grip hard enough to hurt. Fingers dug hard into tendon and muscle with breath stealing pain.

"We'll leave for the reactor immediately," Rude said, forcibly keeping Reno quiet and seated.

"Very good. I'll expect a report as soon as possible," Tseng said and dismissed them to log the assignment into his laptop.

Rude used his grip on Reno to lift him from the chair and steer him out the door. Once in the hallway he let go and easily dodged the retaliatory fist Reno swung at his head.

"What the fuck, Rude?! Tseng assigns us some pansy assed clean up duty, and you damned near break my shoulder when I object. What the hell is your problem?"

Rude folded his arms over his chest and towered over Reno in an intimidating stance that would have most people shitting their pants. Reno just glared up at him and rotated the aching joint.

"I agree with Tseng," Rude said harshly, "and I don't want to see you get killed or hurt or me, and I don't want a job fucked up because you're distracted. Right now you're thinking with either your heart or your dick, and neither one has the brains to fill a shot glass."

"You hypocritical bastard," Reno hissed. "You gonna stand there and tell me that you never think of Valentine when he disappears for days at a time?"

Rude never wavered. "I'm a Turk first, same as you, and Turks don't let anything interfere with the job." 

A line that could have been straight from a Shinra Turk employee handbook, if such a thing existed, and one that Rude was having some trouble fully believing himself, but it was apparent Reno needed a metaphorical slap in the face.

"Whatever," Reno mumbled, still angry that Tseng had called him out and feeling stung that his own partner wasn't in his corner. "Let's get this shit done so we can call it a day. Eight a.m. and the day is already totally fucked."

Rude hesitated because it definitely wasn't like Reno to just let go of a fight, but he held out a hand of truce to his partner.

"Drinks will be on me after we show those rent-a-punks how it's done."

"Yeah, sure," Reno replied and headed for the elevator that would take them to the helipad.

At least he would get to fly. That was the only decent thing about the assignment that didn't twinge his already bruised pride.

Reno didn't speak to Rude during the entire flight. Usually the redhead could be counted on to fill any travel time with amusing anecdotes, outrageously exaggerated tales, and snarky commentary about their boss, their coworkers, their friends and enemies. No one and nothing were safe from Reno's rapier tongue. For all the times Rude had wished his partner would just shut the hell up for five damn minutes, he found he didn't much like this silently fuming version of Reno at all. Every time he glanced the man's way Reno was staring straight ahead, holding the controls in a white knuckled grip.

Five minutes outside their destination he cleared his throat. "You gonna land in plain sight or we sneaking in?"

Reno flicked his eyes Rude's way. "Straight out front, partner. Show them I...we mean business."

Rude caught Reno's little slip and he didn't like it one bit. Rude understood Reno's urge to vent his frustrations, but he made a silent prayer to whatever gods might be listening to give his partner a bit more restraint. He made a last check of his weapons, the gun in the shoulder holster under the left side of his coat, the gun nestled at the small of his back, the big knife sheathed in his boot and the mag rod tucked up his right sleeve. Rude smoothed his formfitting gloves over his hands. He loved the smell and feel of leather. He finally got a small smile from Reno when replaced his current shades with a darker, more intimidating looking pair.

Reno nailed the exact center of the helipad at the reactor site and shut everything down. One thing Reno could always be counted on for was the meticulous care of the choppers. He treated them more like pets than machines, talking to them and praising them. Rude had once given him as a gift a remote control helicopter painted with the Shinra design complete with a collar and dog tags. Reno had laughed wickedly and showcased the thing on top of the bookshelf in his office. That is, when he wasn't using it to dive bomb passersby or zip memos to other offices.

They walked with steady, menacing intent straight through the site with only a flash of their i.d. cards needed. Rude stood with his arms crossed while Reno rapped on the security office's door with his baton. The door opened to reveal a man in his late twenties, sucking the remnants of a lavish lunch from his teeth. He took in the sight of the two Turks and turned a little green.

"C-can I help you?"

"You the manager of security here, Mr...?" Reno let his lips twist into a feral grin and waited for the man to supply his name.

"Dover. Benjamin Dover. And you would be?"

"Ben...Dover?" Reno elbowed Rude and his grin turned nastier as he snickered. "Man, your parents must have really hated you."

Dover flushed red with either anger or embarrassment. "You still haven't told me your names or stated your business."

"It's not necessary," Rude spoke up. "All you need to know is that we were sent from Shinra HQ to investigate the vandalism and theft reports. Your men haven't been doing their jobs adequately."

"I wonder why, with all the technology and resources you have here, that no one has been caught yet," Reno said. "Pretty sloppy don't ya think, partner?"

"Or deliberate," Rude replied.

"We...my men...several were injured in the last attack! They're fast, real fast, and I don't know how they're getting in," Dover tried to defend himself.

"Yeah?" Reno asked, scratching in disinterest at the back of his neck. He pinned the man with his most piercing look. "We just happen to think there's more to the story."

Dover was starting to look more than a little ill and sweating profusely. "I've told you what I know. It was all in the reports."

Rude and Reno stepped further into the office, backing the man towards his desk.

"Then you'll just have to repeat it one more time, Ben, with a little...incentive," Reno smirked as he shut and locked the door behind them. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Man, that was disappointing," Reno grumbled as he went through the systems shut down routine. Beside him Rude wordlessly grunted agreement. "He broke too easy, you know? We didn't even get to break out the good stuff. Still, Tseng will be interested to know that both problems are connected." Reno laughed darkly. "Hell, he'll be pissed to know that the attacks at the reactor were nothing more than a distraction, and he took the bait."

"And you're not going to tell him in any tactful way, are you?" Rude asked with a long-suffering look.

Reno snorted. "After what he said to me this morning? Hell, no!"

"You still up for drinks after work?"

"You still buying?" Reno asked with a gluttonous gleam in his eye.

"Yeah, but I am not carrying you home tonight. You will not throw up on me or in my car. You will not start a brawl just for the hell of it," Rude said sternly.

"Any other rules, oh refined one with a tree up his ass?"

"Yeah. Wash off the blood and brush that rat's nest of hair," Rude smirked. "We've got appearances to keep up, you know."

Reno stuck out his tongue and made a rude noise in his partner's direction. He finished his post flight check and patted the instrument panel lovingly.

"Good flight, baby. We'll do this again real soon."

Rude rolled his eyes behind his shades. Reno and his helicopters. If the day ever came that Shinra installed voice address systems he was going to invest in ear plugs. He just knew that Reno would find a way to hack the program and have the machine respond in a sultry purr of a voice. They got out and Reno waved at the flight mechanic coming their way.

"Give'er a wash down, would ya, Joran? It was real dusty at the reactor site. Can't have the baby looking shabby."

Just as accustomed as Rude to Reno's habits, Joran agreed without reminding Reno that he always took excellent care of the helicopters.

Tseng was waiting for them in his office to hear their report. His impassive face showed neither surprise nor anger at Reno's dig about falling for the distraction.

"It was still costing time and valuable resources, Reno, distraction or not," Tseng countered. "Did you dispose of the body?"

"No body," Reno said with a feral grin. "Figured you'd want him to go back to his people as an example of sorts. Put them on notice. He wasn't too functional, but he'll probably make it. He's definitely a changed man."

"I'm sure," Tseng said blandly. Reno's satisfied grin indicated Dover was probably hideously messed up. At least the redhead had followed his orders. "Written reports by morning."

"Sure," Reno agreed easily, his earlier disgruntlement with his superior fading. "We done? 'Cause Rude and I have a date with some shot glasses."

"You're dismissed. Need I remind you..."

"Yeah, yeah. Appearances and all that shit. Rude's already said it," Reno laughed. "I might even wear underwear."

When the pair left his office Tseng allowed himself the luxury of an eye roll. Thankfully, nothing much kept Reno down for long. Still, he hoped the man's lover returned soon. He really did want his best team on the case and focused.

Cloud rolled into town, bone weary and chafed from the cold ride. The only stops he had made had been for fuel. He was tired, hungry and anxious to see Reno. The last thing Zack had said to him had circled his mind through the whole trip. It had to be a warning, couldn't be anything else. Thoughts of Hojo made him shudder. Cloud could feel phantom pain as clearly as the times when it was inflicted. The man had been an abomination.

When he arrived at the apartment building Cloud hesitated. Perhaps he should have gone back to the Seventh Heaven. As much as he wanted to see Reno he wasn't sure he still had the right to just ...hell with it. He wanted to be home, and Reno had tried hard to impress upon him that the apartment was always open to him. Steeling himself against recriminations about taking off again without a word, Cloud opened the door and was both disappointed and relieved to find it empty.

He walked to the bedroom and eased open the door. The bed was neatly made. As Reno never made the bed, always saying there was no point since it would just be messed up again later, it obviously hadn't been slept in. Cloud set his bag on the bed and went in the adjoining bathroom. The huge claw foot tub reminded him that he was covered in road dirt that was making his skin itch. Perhaps the hot water would relax him, too. Cloud was afraid, not really, but he still wasn't sure what he was going to say to his lover.

He knew his usual silence wasn't going to be an option this time. Nor could he just say hey, I'm back. Oh, and by the way, I had a talk with my dead lover and he let me know that I was being an asshole and you were worried about me. Right. That would go over real well, or even worse. Zack says you love me. Is he right?

Cloud yanked his hands through his spiked hair in frustration. He wasn't very good at this kind of thing. No. Be honest. He sucked at this kind of thing. Zack had joked once that it was a good thing he liked to talk so much since he had to do it for both himself and Cloud. One more time Cloud's heart ached with the loss. It just wasn't right that the world was deprived of Zack Fair.

Cloud watched the steaming water fill the tub and wondered how it was even possible for Reno to love him. He was the shunned boy, the disappointing SOLDIER candidate, the failed experiment. What was there to love? Reno could have his pick of dozens of pretty faces. Why would he care about a moody, emotionally and socially backward man who repeatedly left him behind when things turned even remotely serious?

A phantom smack to the back of his head jerked Cloud from his self denigrating ruminating.

"I hear ya," Cloud muttered and shed his clothes to ease into the water.

Instead of soaking like he originally intended, he scrubbed quickly and hurried into clean clothes. Looking in the mirror Cloud stared at his own reflection.

"You ready for this?" he asked the wary, blue eyes and sulky mouth.

"There once was a girl from the slums,  
As sharp and pretty as they come.  
Every night she had dates From men above plate As long as they put gil in her palm."

"Reno, shut up," Rude begged wearily and pulled his partner from the car. The last hour had been filled with increasingly terrible limericks. "As soon as I get you inside you can yammer to your heart's content. Just, please, shut for the two minutes it will take to get you there."

Reno snickered and threw his arm as far around the tall man's shoulders as he could get.

"You know you really looooove me, Rude."

"About as much as a boil on my ass," Rude muttered.

Reno cackled at Rude's grumbling and poked his key at the door a few times until Rude huffed in exasperation and took it from him. Reno stumbled into the opened door and stopped dead, causing Rude to run into him and nearly sending him to the floor. Cloud looked back at him with puzzled, sleepy eyes from the blanket nest on the couch. Reno recovered his composure and smirked to cover his relief.

"Well, look what the cuahl dragged home."

Cloud twisted a fold of the blanket. "Reno, I...I'm..." He glanced warily at Rude who was obviously glaring at him even through his shades.

Something in Cloud's posture and tone of voice penetrated Reno's hazy mind. He held up a hand to halt Cloud's fumbling words.

"Gimme ten minutes." Reno turned to Rude. "I'll be right back. Make sure he doesn't skip out while I'm gone."

Reno pulled a small vial of potion from an inner coat pocket and downed it on the way to the bathroom. A minute later the shower could be heard running along with gasping yelps about icy fucking water. Rude crossed his arms and pointedly stood before the door even though Cloud hadn't moved. Reno came back with one towel wrapped around his hips and using another to scrub at his hair. His eyes were bright and clear from the potion, all traces of obscene amounts of tequila gone. He waved at Rude in thanks.

"I'm good, partner. I'll see ya in the morning. Thanks."

Rude nodded and let himself out, leaving the two alone. Reno rubbed his hair one last time and let the towel drop onto the couch. The other man stood up revealing he was wearing nothing but a pair of Reno's sweatpants. Cloud parted his lips uncertainly to speak.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say," Reno said harshly and watched Cloud's expression fall. "Not yet," he clarified. "Right now just get over here."

When Cloud was close enough Reno threaded his hands through blond hair and pulled his lover into a bruising kiss. Teeth cut into lips and Cloud flinched at the taste of blood. Reno sucked at the cut until the blond opened his lips in a soft moan then plunged his tongue in deep to dominate the kiss. When Cloud reached up to clutch at his shoulders Reno felt a sharp thrill of victory.

He released Cloud's mouth to scrape his teeth down a pale neck and swipe his tongue back over the faint marks. Cloud ground himself against Reno's thigh between his legs and bared his neck for more attention. He wanted this, needed it, needed to feel Reno claim his body with single minded intent. Neither spoke, communicating need only through touch and desperate sounds.

With a growl Reno spun Cloud around to bend him over the back of the couch. He kissed and nipped at the back of his neck while pushing the loose pants down to kick them out of the way. His own towel fell to the floor. A bottle of lube was fished from behind the couch cushions, opened and his hand slicked. Cloud cried out at the fast entry of two slippery fingers and arched his back, spreading his legs. Reno scissored his fingers apart to make his lover hiss in pained pleasure and snaked a hand around to squeeze Cloud's hardened cock. The resulting needy moan and the tightening around his fingers made Reno's heart race and his body shudder.

He pulled his fingers free to slick himself and thrust in hard and deep. Cloud cried out again and flung a hand back to grip Reno's hip to pull him closer. Reno moved his hips fast and rough, grasping Cloud's jaw to turn his head to the side so he could suck on the sensitive place on his neck. It was all heat and desperation, every thrust, every scratch of fingernails and scrape of teeth, every stroke of hard, sweat slick skin. Cloud moaned more and more loudly as he was pounded into until Reno struck hard one last time at his prostate and his whole body seized up with pleasure. He spilled himself over Reno's hand and trembled, only his lover's body pinning him over the back of the couch keeping him from collapsing.

Reno came hard, biting Cloud's shoulder savagely, the taste of musky sweat, blood and Cloud on his tongue. He fell over Cloud's back with his breath rasping in his lover's ear. Reno eased himself out with a wince thanks to the painful spasm in his back and slid to the floor. Cloud fell into a boneless heap beside.him. Reno lay on his back, threw an arm over his eyes and tangled his other hand in damp blond hair.

"Why do I let you fuck me up so much, huh?" Reno asked and tugged on the hair.

"I could ask you the same," Cloud replied in a gravelly voice and didn't protest either the pull of his hair or the subsequent gentle caress of his cheek. He pressed his forehead against Reno's shoulder and wound an arm tightly around his chest.

If Reno was surprised by the conscious gesture he didn't show it. He just continued stroking his fingers along Cloud's face. A single thought interrupted his fuzzy contentment and that was the floor was really very uncomfortable. 


	5. Chapter 5

Cloud lay awake in the dark absently twining a long strand of red around his fingers and watching the gentle rise and fall of his lover's chest as he slept. They still hadn't talked. Once they moved from the floor to the bed the days without sleep had caught up to the Turk and smacked him down hard into a deep sleep. Cloud felt guilty over the shadows under Reno's eyes and the lines of strain still evident in his face. He traced a careful fingertip over one of those lines and watched it smooth under his touch.

The wind had picked up outside and the temperature dropped, but here, next to his lover, Cloud felt warm and safe and content. Reno had one arm draped loosely around his waist. A deceptive looseness, for every time he did more than simply change position, that arm tightened possessively. It still amazed Cloud, and Zack would be so pissed to hear it, that even after the sex was over Reno still desired his oftentimes surly company. He had to admit that he enjoyed being in Reno's presence. Reno was witty, intelligent, irreverent at times and always attentive to him. Several times he had found Reno watching him with a slight smile on his face and wondered at the reason.

With nothing to distract him Cloud's thoughts turned again to Zack's warning about Hojo. Would he, could he, have cloned himself? Would he have done such a thing only for hubris, or in anticipation of his demise? Technically, none of the clone experiments could be called successful. Due to the Jenova cells in each clone, and in the Remnants, each had fallen victim to the desires and directives of the alien life force. But what about a clone that wasn't infected with the cells? If properly preserved and the personality meticulously sculpted, how closely would it resemble and emulate the drive and ambitions of the original?

The very idea of another incarnation of Hojo made Cloud feel ice cold and nauseous. Surely the planet and the human population couldn't survive another monster such as he was. Was that what Zack had been trying to tell him? Was it to warn him that it was possible, or worse, that it had already happened? Damn, damn! Why hadn't Zack been allowed to be more specific?

His frustration and chaotic thinking had made Cloud's body tense. He felt Reno rub along his back and murmur something soft and meant to be reassuring without truly awakening. Cloud forced himself to breathe slowly and evenly to relax until he felt Reno drift back to deeper sleep.

The SOLDIER program was obsolete. Sephiroth's madness and public outcry had sealed the fate of the project. The Shinra army had been disbanded, the few that had survived Meteor. WRO controlled a public security force that maintained order, but what good would they be against a menace like Hojo when he had been capable of producing altered humans? The was truly only one group of people still in force that had the experience. The Turks. No, oh no.

Cloud shivered and pressed himself closer to Reno, wrapping his arms tightly around the man. Fate couldn't be so cruel, could it? Oh, hell yes, it could and would. Zack would know what Cloud feared the most...losing another loved one. Not this time, he vowed shakily and clutched his lover to him. Zack had tried to warn him, and he would make use of it. Even if it meant openly working with Shinra, he would protect what was his.

"Cloud?" Reno asked sleepily, awakened by Cloud's movements. "Cold?" he chuckled.

"No," Cloud answered. He might have left it at that. Not long ago he would have. Reno deserved a better answer. "I just..." he trailed off uncertainly.

Thankfully, Reno seemed to get it and just tucked Cloud's head under his chin. They lay quietly under the covers until Reno shifted to trace his fingers over Cloud's cheek.

He could see Reno's quick grin in the dim light. Firm, soft lips closed over his mouth, and Cloud willingly gave himself up to the feeling of being wanted. It felt so good, so much better than just a fleeting flash of desire. If there wasn't a foreboding of danger Cloud would wonder why he had even tried to hold himself apart. He couldn't lose the man now, not when he realized what he was missing by being aloof.

Cloud poured all his pent up emotion into the kiss until Reno shivered with want. It had only been a few hours, but already Cloud wanted his lover again. He wanted to feel Reno's momentum, his heat, his hardness pushing in deep and making him feel. Cloud rolled them until Reno lay atop him. It was everything he could have wanted, the passion, the pleasure and the love. Yes, now that he allowed himself to see it, Cloud could feel the love behind every touch, the gentleness that bespoke fierce and abiding emotion. A cold frisson of fear shook Cloud to the core. To lose that...to live with his heart encased in ice once more, he knew it would break him forever.

Just as suddenly as he recognized it for what it was, Cloud couldn't bear the gentleness, the tender touches, didn't want to get too used to something that could be ripped from him. He struggled against Reno, biting, scratching with his nails to provoke the baser reactions in the man. Frustrated tears glazed his eyes when Reno fought back, refusing to get rough, then pulled away to stare at Cloud's glowing eyes in puzzlement.

"Cloud, why?"

Cloud choked on a gasping cry, arching his back to close the distance between them. He finally used his greater strength against Reno. bucking and thrashing wildly, slapping, scratching and hitting. Reno's fighting instincts came to the fore to bury and blur his heart, and he threw himself into the battle. They tore the bedding apart and rocked the bed frame to creak alarmingly in reaction to their snapping, snarling, frenzied actions.

Reno sank his teeth into Cloud's neck and thrust in harshly, painfully, demanding submission. He was wild with anger and passion. Cloud tilted his head back and took it all, and when he came it whipped through him with a force to rip a howl from his throat. Reno gritted his teeth in a feral grimace and finished, then immediately shoved himself away from Cloud and stumbled to the window to light a cigarette with shaking hands.

He smoked in silence until his breathing settled to normal. All the while Cloud watched him from the shredded blankets and sheets. Livid bruises were already mottling Reno's fair skin and a thin trickle of blood snaked its way downward from teeth marks on his collarbone. Reno jabbed the butt into an ashtray and stalked back to the bed. He pushed Cloud against the pillows with a hand on his shoulder.

"Why?" Reno demanded, residual anger and a dull pain making his eyes shine.

Cloud lowered his gaze. "Because, I can't...I need..."

"You need me to be rough and uncaring? You want me to hurt you?" Reno snorted in disbelief. "You're a fool, Strife."

"No one's making you keep me around," Cloud mumbled, wincing inwardly. Maybe if he ended it now there was a chance...

Reno's short burst of laughter was derisive and cutting. "More of a fool than I thought." He crawled back on the bed and pulled Cloud against him, determinedly embracing a lover who was doing a piss poor job of hiding his fear of something besides the physical. Reno saw through it all.

Cloud trembled and soaked up the warmth of arms that still wanted to hold him. "I'm sorry," he murmured into Reno's chest. A soft sigh ruffled his hair.

"Go to sleep, Cloud," Reno said quietly. He drew the blanket up around them. On the edge of sleep he said, "You going to be here in the morning?"

Cloud took so long answering Reno wasn't sure he would.

"Yes."

Reno groaned and grumbled as bright sunlight tried to fry his retinas through his closed eyelids. Someone forgot to close the damn blinds last night. Oh, yeah. Me. He shifted and found himself lightly pinned by the pale arm around his chest. Cloud mumbled an incoherent word and nuzzled into Reno's shoulder, eyes shut tightly against the morning light.

Reno was caught somewhere between Aww! and slightly hysterical laughter. Dealing with Cloud was like dealing with a split personality. During the day he was a prickly, remote, standoffish figure who never wanted anyone to touch him. At night he would cuddle like a satisfied milk fed kitten. Or maybe a chocobo chick. Amused by his rambling thoughts, Reno lifted a hand to fluff the blond spikes that were in wild disarray. The movement pulled at the bite on his collarbone and he hissed through his teeth, glancing down to see dried blood around a perfect imprint of Cloud's teeth. No, kitten with damn sharp teeth.

A look at the clock told him Rude would be swinging by in less than an hour. With a muffled groan over protesting muscles, Reno wiggled from under Cloud's arm to leave the bed. A frown touched his lips when Cloud didn't awaken except to scoot over into the warm spot left behind. Any other time Cloud's eyes would have opened as soon as Reno moved. Exhausted. Reno didn't quite buy it.

The hot shower water after at least a few hours of deep sleep made him feel nearly normal again. Reno wrapped a towel around his hips and squeezed the water from his hair. A quick shave, a toothbrush, and some gel and he was as ready as he ever got for work. Cloud still hadn't moved when he went back to the bedroom. Reno put a hand on Cloud's shoulder to shake him then jerked himself back to avoid the fist going for his throat.

"Damn! You're a landmine, Cloud."

Cloud blinked the fuzziness from his eyes. He hadn't slept that deeply in years, and he certainly hadn't heard Reno moving through his morning routine. A prickle of uneasiness started at the base of his neck, and he tried to rub the uncomfortable sensation away.

"What?" was his intelligent response, voice gruff with both sleep and no little embarrassment after seeing Reno's knowing smirk. Although the marks on his own body had faded during the night, Reno looked like he'd been on the losing end of a fight with some lawn equipment.

A pounding on the door interrupted his chagrinned perusal of his lover's exposed neck and chest. Reno gave him a mock salute with his baton.

"Duty calls. Gotta run."

Cloud flopped back in the tangle of blankets and sheets to cover his eyes after Reno slipped out the door. No kiss goodbye? No quick morning groping? Cloud groaned and rubbed both hands over his face. I'm so messed up. An answering laugh ghosted through his mind.

"Shut up, Zack."

Cloud hauled himself out of bed. He needed to go see Rufus Shinra, and he wanted to do it without Reno knowing about it.

Rude handed over a cup of coffee and slid his shades down his nose to get a better look at his partner's condition. Reno smirked and sipped at the offering.

"You all right?" Rude had to ask.

"Right as rain, partner. Let's get going. I want to be back to what we should have doing in the first place." 


End file.
